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"Would you like to try them out?"

"Well, Jackie, when I bloated up and hit middle age my TV career fell apart and I turned to drugs, and I really gave to say drugs were very good to me and gave me a second chance at life -- until handguns came along."

'...And in local weather, Ken's cologne has clashed with Trish's hair spray, causing a thunder shower over the news desk.'

"Boy, that performance stunk!"

Strippo - Sorry: Clothed For Lunch!

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Zombie standup

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Dog Walking Services

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Skiing.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Intelligent people laugh too!

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"