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A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

Interior Monologuist

The Comedians

'I heard he was funny.'

'See, it's of a joke on it. I call it the 'Comedy Club'.'

Closing Laugh, Strip Tease.

'Sir, why are you lifting up the carpet?'

"My Burt is so impulsive, honestly there's just no telling what he'll NOT do next

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Zombie standup

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Easter Island legs

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Cat box"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

Love at First Sight

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

Dog Walking Services

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Squirrel Chasing a Dog