Comedy Club Aficionado Pillows

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

Interior Monologuist

Hello, Tina? My brothers and I met you last night at the Dew Drop Inn

The Comedians

'I heard he was funny.'

'See, it's of a joke on it. I call it the 'Comedy Club'.'

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

Closing Laugh, Strip Tease.

'Sir, why are you lifting up the carpet?'

"My Burt is so impulsive, honestly there's just no telling what he'll NOT do next

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Easter Island legs

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Love at First Sight

"Cat box"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."