Comedy Celebrant Gifts

The wedding.

Bubbly

"We must rise up and claim our rightful place at the table of society! We must never rest until we are given the respect and dignity we deserve! Chica power!"

'He does.'

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

Louisiana Mask Mandate

"Trick or treat?"

And this is my dance of the third quarters profit ratio.

Year of the Rat

"Happy new year!"

'That Smith kid just invited us to his church on Easter Sunday!'

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

'Hello, my name is Death'

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

'You don't know why you're down here?... Aren't you the guy that invented the high five in sports?'

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

"Who you calling a candya**?"

"This is one time of year we count our blessings. . . and not our calories."

Church: Built by Guilt.

St David's Day

Happy Cinco De Mayo!

'The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!'

'Ar ... to be sore, to be sore.' - Post St Patrick's Day.

There's no need to behave like a wild animal...but it's FUN!!!

'Hold everything! -- My left brain just kicked in!'

'He drinks to forget and today it's our wedding anniversary.'

"It's OK, darling - Granny's crying happy tears."

"Please turn off your GPS!"

Burn's Night.

Is it true that a maitre d' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship? ? ?

'You may kiss the bride, but no tongue.'

Watermelon Cult

Man arrives at fancy ball in snow shoes and canadian dress

Social Distance Seder

Bridegroom asks if he can ask the audience.