Comical Celebrator Gifts

'The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!'

Bubbly

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Emotional Bling

Christmas sweater alternatives

Happy Bifurcation Day,

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

Scot holding a heart.

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

"Happy new year!"

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

Festivus poles

'Hello, my name is Death'

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

The first birthday gift.

Life begins at 60

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

Birthday Painting

'Let's see those smiles.'

'I just read that in order to get the same benefit as lab mice got from taking resveratrol, you'd have to drink 1,000 bottles of wine per day. For you, that would mean cutting back.'

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

A drum covered in candles

"She just uses all that make-up to hide her age."

Alien Birthdays...

'Born again birthdays don't count.'

Handel sitting on a piano

'I must be getting older, the cards joking about my age just don't seem as funny anymore'

The wedding.

"Hey, I'm just happy the transplant worked at all."

'I think you may have misunderstood the invitation when it said 'Black Tie Only'!'

Mrs and Mrs Lesbian Halloween Pumpkin