Comedy Catcher Gifts

'The warden framed me.'

'OK, wait until he grabs the twenty bucks, then set the hook!'

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Banana Split...

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Snowmobull

"The Eggsorcist"

Turtle Hat

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Filet minion

E-Baying @ The Moon

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Ever eat a bird?"

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

A trevor of trainspotters

"Whose the new guy?"

Angler throwing his fly-book into the river for the fish

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

Clown Skis.

Spare A Change?

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

An Extraordinary Pointer

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'