Comedy Catcher Pillows

'The warden framed me.'

'OK, wait until he grabs the twenty bucks, then set the hook!'

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Banana Split...

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Turtle Hat

E-Baying @ The Moon

"The Eggsorcist"

Filet minion

Snowmobull

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"Ever eat a bird?"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

A trevor of trainspotters

"Whose the new guy?"

Angler throwing his fly-book into the river for the fish

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

Clown Skis.

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.

An Extraordinary Pointer