Comedy Brunch Crowd Gifts

I use to file your expenses at the office Mr. Henderson, but I never dreamed I'd be one of them.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

Shakespeare's Earliest Influences. To bean or not to bean ….. Ye Olde Limas. Jolly Goode Cukes. The Bees Peas.

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

Watch Your Step

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

Will Smith's Oscar

Possum bungee jumping from branch with bungee tail.

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

Meet the Plagiarist

Woody Allen

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'Over on stage number two is the lovely, succulent, Misty Flatulence!'

'You mean as opposed to a rural gnome?'

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'This corn's got dandruff.'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I wonder if Congress has any openings."

"You people make me sick. Nonetheless, here's a little toe-tapper."

"Do you think we're using the right key word?"

'Whoa! Time out. The loud guy in the white shirt is right - that was a ball. My mistake. Sorry everyone. Thank you, sir.'

'55 minutes? Really? And you call yourself the fastest land mammal?'

Showering angel has water bouncing off her halo.

Job Safety - Lunch.

'There's no decent comedy on TV nowadays. Why don't they bring back Mr Blobby?'

It's more about the journey for me!

'I ordered a blueberry muffin - Not a Blackberry muffin!'