Comedy And Satire Fan Gifts

'She has to stay inside. She just had her nails done.'

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Director/Action Man toy.

"Why do they do that?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Bad fake tan day.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Giraffe Umbrella

A Fairytale Update

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Vlad the Impala

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

What's normal?

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."