Comedy And Satire Fan Gifts

'Think of an essay as a collection of tweets only joined together.'

'She has to stay inside. She just had her nails done.'

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Director/Action Man toy.

"Why do they do that?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Giraffe Umbrella

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

Bad fake tan day.

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

A Fairytale Update

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Vlad the Impala

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

What's normal?

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."