Comedic Writers Gifts

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Zombie standup

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Candid Camera store.

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Rapunzel's gone punk."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

Aw, geez, is my fly down again? Why Superman started wearing his underwear over his pants.

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

'Let's call him lucky!'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Thumbing a Lift.

Man walking a long dog on a fishing rod.

'A new musical - Einstein's quest - rehearsal'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

America's funniest election gaffes

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

Soldiers' Ego