Comedic Writers Gifts

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Zombie standup

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Candid Camera store.

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'Let's call him lucky!'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

Thumbing a Lift.

America's funniest election gaffes

Man walking a long dog on a fishing rod.

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

Soldiers' Ego

Old Joe was determined to reach the summit as he'd left his false teeth up there last week!

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"