Comedic Weight Warrior Gifts

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

Bench Press Accident

Biceps, muscles and brawn

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

Ring for Service.

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

'This will a short meeting on the company's ‘Lose Weight' campaign. Ed can't hold his belly in for more than 9 minutes.'

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'Are you sure this is only the 100kg?'

Man fights with his shadow.

Leaf Blower Showdown.

'Breath in,Miss Benson...breath in!'

Woman strips on a public scale in order to get a lower reading.

"If only the men could see my fun side."

Atlas' Exercise Machine

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

Two weighing machines, one speaks your weight and the other lies about it.

Never wear running shoes with a jogging suit.