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Advent Calendar 2022: Heating/Eating

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Get crazy once in a while

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

Zoo: No Hunting.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'Well, given that you have three broken ribs, laughing is bound to be painful...'

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

Tree growing

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

'Nice this kite sailboat. But how do you actually land it?'

'You thought I'd gone out of business? What gave you that idea?'

Welcome centre

"I have an existential dread of falling off your couch."

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

"Where do you see yourself 5 years ago?"