Comedic Health Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I was gonna try yoga, but I don't actually bend so that's not going to work."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

'Al has vowed to climb the Food Pyramid...one mouthful at a time.'

Man crushed by health food

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

Jeff was watching his weight.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."

Flying Ear Specialist

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

"Four out of five doctors recommend that you get up and get some exercise."

Eskimo in Igloo

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

'I think I'm seeing double again!'

"Also, this apartment comes with easy access to the stray cats in the alley."