Comedic Spender Pillows

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'Fortunately, I'm serving, concurrently, both my interest and principle.'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'That's our quilt edged investments sorted.'

80 Million Euros for a football player.

Eskimo in Igloo

"I'm still spending a lot of money, but I'm spending it ironically."

"Honestly, I think this was a waste of money."

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'