Comedic Spender Pillows

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

'Your check to 'Hooters' bounced, ironically enought.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'That's our quilt edged investments sorted.'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'Fortunately, I'm serving, concurrently, both my interest and principle.'

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

80 Million Euros for a football player.

Eskimo in Igloo

"I'm still spending a lot of money, but I'm spending it ironically."

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'