Comedic Royalists Pillows

'No, I don't have a match!'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Pop up begger.

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

"Al, are you certain that this guy has the authority to marry us?"

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'