Comedically Royal Pillows

'I, Horace Windsock-Trumpintub, being of sound mind...'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

King Alfred's Daffodil's.

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

"Her Ladyship wanted the portrait to have a more contemporary look."

Football Royalty

"We met when I needed a frog to dissect an biology class."

"It is not you. It is we."

'Blessed before 20/01/00'

'TWO crowns? - I'd say you definitely have delusions of grandeur.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

Joke of a lover

"That's kingsize?"

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'

'I'm pretty sure I never said I wanted a 'Bouncy' castle.'

Child playing king.

Castaway Romances

'I'm tired of foreign policy -- I think I'll go interfere in the economy for awhile.'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

"Just the usual stuff - 17 bills and half a dozen death threats."

'A literacy program? -- you want everybody writing TELL-ALL books?'

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

"The monarch appreciates your wit, but thinks your timing sucks."

"Humanitarian aid? -- What fun is that?"

"Is that a bribe?"

"I wouldn't mind this so much, if it weren't for the inheritance taxes!"

'If you want to be truly incognito, you'll have to lose the crown.'

"Swim across the moat but keep the pizza dry."

BEING KING IS A TAXING PROFESSION!