Comedically Royal Pillows

'I, Horace Windsock-Trumpintub, being of sound mind...'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

King Alfred's Daffodil's.

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

Football Royalty

"We met when I needed a frog to dissect an biology class."

"It is not you. It is we."

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

Joke of a lover

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'Blessed before 20/01/00'

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'

"That's kingsize?"

'TWO crowns? - I'd say you definitely have delusions of grandeur.'

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'

Child playing king.

'I'm pretty sure I never said I wanted a 'Bouncy' castle.'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'I'm tired of foreign policy -- I think I'll go interfere in the economy for awhile.'

Castaway Romances

"Just the usual stuff - 17 bills and half a dozen death threats."

"Humanitarian aid? -- What fun is that?"

"The monarch appreciates your wit, but thinks your timing sucks."

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

"Is that a bribe?"

'A literacy program? -- you want everybody writing TELL-ALL books?'

"I wouldn't mind this so much, if it weren't for the inheritance taxes!"

"Swim across the moat but keep the pizza dry."

'If you want to be truly incognito, you'll have to lose the crown.'

BEING KING IS A TAXING PROFESSION!

'Why, thanks -- long live YOU, too!'