Comedic Historian Pillows

Cave drawing copyrighted.

'I just can't keep up with all this modern technology.'

"How are you fixed for sandals?"

"Ok, so, um yeah. So four score and seven years ago today our fath... ...wait, did I do that part already? Sorry, let me find the next part."

'He's already growing out of his rabbit skin -- go kill something bigger.'

Napoloeon

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Zoo: No Hunting.

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

Pop up begger.

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

Monkey Business College