Comedic History Lovers Pillows

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'I've invented a device for making people late for work.'

"The Doge ate my homework."

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'I just can't keep up with all this modern technology.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"He decided to write a travel book..."

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

Cave drawing copyrighted.

Eskimo in Igloo

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

'I'm new here-where are all the nuns?'

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

"He won't get far without this!"

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.