Comedic Literature Lovers Pillows

The gentleman next door declares his passion for Mrs. Nickleby

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'A is for Arse.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Examination.

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

"It's not that I don't want a baby brother - it's just that this is a bad time for me developmentally."

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"You've reached Randy, the Dating Doctor. What ails you?...."

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"I could've sworn we only brought two fruit-flies!"

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"He decided to write a travel book..."

'Well, how many pints do you weigh?'