Comedic Readers Pillows

New trend: dissolving your teeth with a Coca-Cola habit and getting dentures like Trump.

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'Don't anthropomorphize.'

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

'A is for Arse.'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Examination.

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Pop up begger.

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"It's not that I don't want a baby brother - it's just that this is a bad time for me developmentally."

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"You've reached Randy, the Dating Doctor. What ails you?...."

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'