Comedic Magazine Reader Pillows

"Oh darling, this is Kirk. He came with this month's issue."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Surf Casting

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Pushy Dog

'A is for Arse.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Examination.

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"It's not that I don't want a baby brother - it's just that this is a bad time for me developmentally."

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

Private View.

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

"You've reached Randy, the Dating Doctor. What ails you?...."

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'Well, how many pints do you weigh?'