Comedic Relocation Pillows

"Packing up and relocating to a new home is a moving experience."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Who's got the hammer?"

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

Breast Height Chart

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

Pirate Paddle Boat.

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"I guess I'll never understand women."

'... and then he slammed the door in my face...'

"You keep him busy while I go for help."

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'An optician was having a closing down sale...I got the last pair!'

"I have the smokey eyes look. Can the doctor still give me an eye exam?"