Comedic Relocation Gifts

"Packing up and relocating to a new home is a moving experience."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

Breast Height Chart

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

Pirate Paddle Boat.

"I guess I'll never understand women."

"You keep him busy while I go for help."

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

Still hip, but not much hop.

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'An optician was having a closing down sale...I got the last pair!'

"No, it wasn't an accident. I have a hard starting outboard."