Comedic Relief For Therapists Pillows

'What a tactless, insensitive thing to say!'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Who's got the hammer?"

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

Breast Height Chart

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

Biological Alarm Clock.

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

"Wait! It gets even crazier!"

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

'He's lookin' at me!'

'... and then he slammed the door in my face...'

Rule #1. Of what? HYPOCHONDRIACS HANDBOOK. A little passion project I'm working on; or, rather, I would be working on. I can't write or type wearing my protective anti-flu gear. Rule #1: Get some loser to take dictation for you. I hate where this is heading.

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

Pirate Paddle Boat.