Comedic Moments Collector Gifts

'Is this the third turning on the left,Officer?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Surf Casting

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

'Look at that! Our first big snowfall, Timmy!'

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

Wind shear - 81 st and Lex

Hades Movie Awards After Show. The dealy sins were all here -- They love walking the red carpet! Pride won tonight for a leading role and envy won for a supporting role. Wrath was seen yelling at at the paparazzi ... Lust tried to meet beautiful actresses ... and Gluttony rushed off to the buffet. Greed is already counting all the money he'll make because he won an award. And when sloth won, he received the night's biggest ovation ... because he was too lazy to give an acceptance speech!

To diet or not...?

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"Unlike the case for dogs, the people that cats own don't grow to look like them. I mean, seriously, what human could look as good as this?"

'On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how attached are you to the cat?'

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'

Private View.

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

Darth Vader advertises nasal strips.

Foreigners in Paris - The great water displays at Versailles!

"I brought popcorn..."

Dog on skates.

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

'Look, Mom. I'm belly dancing.'

'Mum! There's something in the paddling pool.'

Son on the shoulders of Mum on the shoulders of Dad so he can feed a giraffe

"It's the only 'L' word you can click on."

Authentic signed Holy Grail

'And...?'

Look who's headed this way. It's Darlene. How do I look? Desperate and pathetic. She's engaged. She's not interested. You've got to move on. No way, she has to be here for a reason. This won't go well. One coffee to go. I do.

Donald Trump Christmas card

'Fang, what do you think the chances are that I'll marry that girl second from the end on 'Deal or No Deal'?'

Shape Up in the New Year. It's ironic, I let my gym membership lapse because I needed to tighten my belt.