Comedic Lifeguard Appreciation Pillows

'Please calm down, Mam. I'm aware of the situation, and I'm doing everything I possibly can.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Baby on board.

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Swimming Prankster

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Saved...life is good!

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

S.P.F. 1,000

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

Lifesaver!

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

I told you not to swim out to far

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

Haywatch

Fishy tail.

The grim reaper racing a lifeboat to reach a drowning man

Spring Break.

"From downtown...the shark scores!"

"We've got a problem."

Resusci Annie takes a well-earned vacation.

Whale-to-whale resuscitation

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."