Comedic Lifeguard Appreciation Pillows

'Please calm down, Mam. I'm aware of the situation, and I'm doing everything I possibly can.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

Saved...life is good!

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Swimming Prankster

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

S.P.F. 1,000

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

Lifesaver!

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

I told you not to swim out to far

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

Haywatch

"We've got a problem."

Fishy tail.

Spring Break.

Whale-to-whale resuscitation

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."