Lifeguard Pillows

Lawyer, lawyer! Get out of the water!

Whale-to-whale resuscitation

So, I'm the only one who sees a conflict of interest here?

"We're encouraging people to become involved in their own rescue."

S.P.F. 1,000

"Under new business: Peterson, at Hammond Point Beach, reports that a person in the water is flailing about and calling for help. Peterson wants to know what action, if any, he should take."

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

One bucket in, one bucket out.

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

'This pool's no fun - all they let you do is swim.'

Thank you for not drowning.

'Health and safety regulations I'm afraid, sir.'

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

'Help! Lifeguard! I'm drowning in a sea of people!'

'Please calm down, Mam. I'm aware of the situation, and I'm doing everything I possibly can.'

L.A. Law

"I can't swim, but what does it matter? It's shallow here."

"Sharks! Hundreds of 'em! Flying sharks! Everyone out of the water! They're converging on the future!"

'Are you here about the lifeguard job?'

Safety Record: 452 Days without a Drowned Rat.

Drowning Hand

"How do I know you won't use this for drugs?"

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'Get lost!'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

Help - "What's in it for me?"

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'

'Oh boy, someone's in trouble!'

'There's always one.'

"Of course it's not safe. That's why I'm here."

Bob learned an important lesson that day. Dog helps those who help themselves.

Bad Lifeguard

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you'll have to put your dust jacket back on."

"You spoil that child!"