Lifeguarding Pillows

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

A lifeguard at the beach

"That is six feet."

Fidel Castro as a lifeguard.

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

dog vs UFO...

Monkey-artist

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Baby on board.

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

Privacy - Surveillance

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

Saved...life is good!

Swimming Prankster

"It's trickle down."

S.P.F. 1,000

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

Fish want out of polluted river.

Lifesaver!