Lifeguarding T-Shirts

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

A lifeguard at the beach

"That is six feet."

Fidel Castro as a lifeguard.

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

Monkey-artist

dog vs UFO...

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Swimming Prankster

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

Saved...life is good!

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

"It's trickle down."

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Privacy - Surveillance

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

S.P.F. 1,000

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

Fish want out of polluted river.

Lifesaver!

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"