Comedic Jogger Gifts

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

City Marathon.

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

'Are we having fun yet?'

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

'Of all the people I know, I like running with you the best Angela.'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

Cross-country knitting.

"It's a deal: Two more years, then we let ourselves go."

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

"I hear Presbyterian is the new Methodist."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

"See, you just turn it on and stand here and it slides you right to the shirt you want to wear."

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

'That's not what I had in mind when I asked for some encouragement!'

"Careful lad, these cliffs can be treacherous following the picnic season."

"It's my personal best - 34 steps in one hour."

"Instead of ordering something every day, I ordered it all at one time. I feel less guilty that way."

'Sex, drugs, rock and roll and running.'

Marathon Runners all on the phone.

'My waist has spread, my arteries are clogged, cholesterol is elevated, but my legs still go up and down.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but be have specific instructions from your wife not to sell you a speedo.'

Body Wash/Hog Wash.