Comedic Jogger Gifts

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

City Marathon.

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

'Are we having fun yet?'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

'Of all the people I know, I like running with you the best Angela.'

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

Cross-country knitting.

"I hear Presbyterian is the new Methodist."

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

"It's a deal: Two more years, then we let ourselves go."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

I bought a pair of running shoes, and haven't seen them since.

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

"See, you just turn it on and stand here and it slides you right to the shirt you want to wear."

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

'That's not what I had in mind when I asked for some encouragement!'

Marathon Runners all on the phone.

"It's my personal best - 34 steps in one hour."

"Instead of ordering something every day, I ordered it all at one time. I feel less guilty that way."

'Sex, drugs, rock and roll and running.'

'My waist has spread, my arteries are clogged, cholesterol is elevated, but my legs still go up and down.'

"Careful lad, these cliffs can be treacherous following the picnic season."

'I'm sorry, sir, but be have specific instructions from your wife not to sell you a speedo.'