Comedic Genius In Pet Antics Gifts

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Dogs life

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Cats at private view

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

Clown walks balloon dog

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'We're sure they're in there... but we're not certain if they have weapons of mass destruction.'