Canine Comedic Genius Gifts

Dog: "Have you noticed? He looks more like me all the time."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

His Master's Thesis.

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"I finally caught you... now what?"

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

Dogs life

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."