Comedic Finance Lovers Pillows

'Fortunately, I'm serving, concurrently, both my interest and principle.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Jumping Wall Street.

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

Life plan

At The Clown Bank.

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

'But if we don't pay huge bonuses our top staff will just leave and go and ruin someone else's business!'

The cost of bringing up children soars to more than £140,000.

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

"I have complete confidence that the company will overcome its debt load."

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

'That's our quilt edged investments sorted.'

"The pound is reaching parity with Liz Truss."

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

'Ask your doctor if investing in the market is right for you.'

"What??? For that money I used to get at least a judge, a congressman, and a city councilman!!"

'I rob Peter to pay Paul -- What do you do for a living?'

"...If at first you don't succeed there's always claiming your losses for a big tax write-off."

'Our revised plan is to inject live stem cells into the economy to make it grow.'

"I'm interested in the debt consolidation package your bank has been advertising...."

"I'm thinking of investing. Do you invest?"

'My attorney will explain why calling it a 'bear market' makes me a victim of profiling.'