Comedic Finance Lovers Pillows

'Fortunately, I'm serving, concurrently, both my interest and principle.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Jumping Wall Street.

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

Sorry, Rudy, no way can I raise your pay to $15 an hour. Why not? 'Cause that would destroy jobs. What would you do for a job once I moved the caf

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

At The Clown Bank.

Life plan

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

White Collar Imposter

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

The cost of bringing up children soars to more than £140,000.

'But if we don't pay huge bonuses our top staff will just leave and go and ruin someone else's business!'

"I have complete confidence that the company will overcome its debt load."

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

"What??? For that money I used to get at least a judge, a congressman, and a city councilman!!"

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

Wal-Mart Bank of Canada.

"The pound is reaching parity with Liz Truss."

Got Customers?

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

'That's our quilt edged investments sorted.'

'Ask your doctor if investing in the market is right for you.'

'I rob Peter to pay Paul -- What do you do for a living?'

"...If at first you don't succeed there's always claiming your losses for a big tax write-off."

"I'm thinking of investing. Do you invest?"

'Our revised plan is to inject live stem cells into the economy to make it grow.'

"I'm interested in the debt consolidation package your bank has been advertising...."