Comedic Banking Pillows

"How much were you thinking of spending?"

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

At The Clown Bank.

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

"What??? For that money I used to get at least a judge, a congressman, and a city councilman!!"

'That's our quilt edged investments sorted.'

"The pound is reaching parity with Liz Truss."

'Fortunately, I'm serving, concurrently, both my interest and principle.'

"I'm thinking of investing. Do you invest?"

'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'

"Come back later when our computers are back up."

'They bounce it off a satellite.'

A tiny man living inside an ATM gives away money.

IRS - 'You had NO earned income last year?', 'That's what my boss said.'

'I'm sorry dear, I'm going to live by myself, I need to economise!'

'Wear this on the train, it's better than people knowing you're a banker.'

"What is it about me that makes people mistrust my investment advice?"

'I'd like to hear your experts' opinion about the development of the gold market, sir.'

'Calm down Harold, it's just a phase some teens go through. He just shaved his coloured feathers off to express his feminine side!'

"Eddie, the 'old economy' is making a comeback..."

"I had heard that this bank had severe penalties for making an early withdrawal..."

"Spend, and the world spends with you. Save, and you save alone."

'I want to close out my account and everyone else's.'

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