Comedic Family Moments Fan Gifts

'Are we nearly ready for a family argument yet, dad?'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Suffering from Cooties?

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'I want you to bring me one.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

"Grandma, I have to bring an antique to school. Can I borrow your flip phone?"

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

"Everyone relax. I've just downloaded the 'Find-Your-Remote' app."

"Next time your virtual fish dies, please don't try flushing your computer down the toilet."

"No, William. This is your new little brother, Christopher. Not William 2.0."

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

Thank you for visiting us again Son... Can I still call you Son? You are so handsome now...

'He's allergic to talc! You'll have to give up the baby!'

'My dad cut it. My mother repaired it. Now, I'm looking for some professional maintainance.'

'...Just like Daddy!'

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"