Funny Family Moments Fan Gifts

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Do you know how hard Daddy had to work to get all those dinosaur brains?'

"Next time your virtual fish dies, please don't try flushing your computer down the toilet."

Even before we began to order in, my dad was always keen to skip the dishes!

"What the hell took so long?"

Suffering from Cooties?

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Two boys from legal to see you."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

'Your mother makes a wonderful spoiler.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

Son burying his dad in sand

'I want you to bring me one.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

"Look, honey. The baby has your height."

I'm starting to think I was adopted.

Thank you for visiting us again Son... Can I still call you Son? You are so handsome now...

"No, William. This is your new little brother, Christopher. Not William 2.0."

"Everyone relax. I've just downloaded the 'Find-Your-Remote' app."

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'He's allergic to talc! You'll have to give up the baby!'

I'm sorry, ma'am, but there was a mix-up at the hospital, and we think you brought home the wrong husband.