Comedic Cub Wrangler Pillows

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"It's okay dear. Dinner always tastes better when it's caught fresh, thrown back, taken from our cooler, removed from the package, and fried."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

Car carrying bikes, biker carrying car.

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'They'll tell you this is an open office workspace, but watch out for the invisible fences.'

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'Bulls and bears are my yin and yang.'

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

I'm not fussy! I'm stir-crazy!

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

'For some reason they've nailed the mike to the floor.'

"These dang-blasted gofer holes are a real nuisance, Zeke!"

'SHOP!!!'

The Hazards of Dog Leashes

"I think I'm getting road rage."

You're in lick Mr.Lawson.

Skier looking at a sign with arrows pointing in different directions all reading "SNOW."

'Please cover for me Carol. I'll be away from my desk, roaming the cubicles, searching for sports talk.'

"So I lost my bicycle helmet, what about it?"

'Remember the old days, Jake, when it was just a cattle drive? Now cattle gotta 'jog' to the stockyard.'

Why dogs never attend baseball games.

"They didn't tell us this blues cruise actually gives you the blues."

"Careful lad, these cliffs can be treacherous following the picnic season."

"I beat the king in golf, now he's having my clubs executed."

"Where are the beer tents?"

'So you'll lead us to some prize bucks, eh? What's in it for you?'

Gym in Hell

'What does it look like? We've been chasing grasshoppers.'

'When I snore, I'm put in solitary. And on nights when I don't, I'm released back into the general population.'

Work out game