Bull And Bear Wrangler Pillows

'Bulls and bears are my yin and yang.'

The Baby Walker

New Guy.

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

So you're a mocking bird...

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

The First Day Back

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Nanny with children on leash

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'Would you care to hold until Mr. Jyles is better adjusted.'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Naughty Puppy Dog.

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"How may times do I have to tell you to flush? Gosh, will I ever get you potty trained?!"

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."