Comedic Critique Of Canine Calamities Gifts

'Don't let that dog in the house. It's full of fleas.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

A man and his dog both reading.

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

'Cat Lit. You?'

A child and his dog

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

K9 Litterati.

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

'Why good dogs go bad.'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"Sit! Heel! Stay! Give me the darn ball!!" "Ball dogs – bad idea"

Tony's dog always brought him to his slippers.

"This ham bone did not have much meat on it by the time I met it, but it tasted of meat, and for that I am eternally grateful."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"The question should be, do PEOPLE go to heaven?"

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

101 Poops - Dalmatian dog walker is in for a torrid time.