Comedic Critique Of Canine Calamities Gifts

'Don't let that dog in the house. It's full of fleas.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

A man and his dog both reading.

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

A child and his dog

'Cat Lit. You?'

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

K9 Litterati.

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

"This ham bone did not have much meat on it by the time I met it, but it tasted of meat, and for that I am eternally grateful."

"Sit! Heel! Stay! Give me the darn ball!!" "Ball dogs – bad idea"

Tony's dog always brought him to his slippers.

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

'Why good dogs go bad.'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

"Get your phone."

'I like it.'

"Okay, the first rule of rolling in s***e club is no one talks about rolling in s***e club."