Comedic Cop Conventions Gifts

Police Academy - Remedial Reading of Rights

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"A new Super Guardian attack vehicle? No no, I built this for Burning man."

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

'You're an inspector now?'

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

Messing Up My Metrics

Containment Cops

"We're all metric now..."

"Them's fighting words."

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

Golf Crime Scene.

'We would like you to accompany us to the station, sir!'

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'Say fells,-you don't have it in BROWN do you?'

Superheroes.

'Yeah it looks like we finally caught that peeping tom...'

Police crime scene.

"Ooh, are those Reese's Pieces?"

"Well, if you find it more comfortable, just call it 'cat bath'."

"What were his last words?"

"I don't think we're supposed to taser people who park on double yellow lines."

'Good cop - bad cop is enough. We don't need morally ambiguous cop.'

'Yes, it was number 4, I'm positive,'

"Me? Keeping winning scratch cards? Never!! Champagne officer?"

'The one in the middle is kind of cute!'

"By the way, this guy behind me with his fist up my crack has nuthin' to do with this."

"Number three. Take off the hat and sunglasses."

'We've searched the whole house, and there's still no sign of the evidence. To be honest, I'm starting to think we've got the wrong guy.'

"But on the other hand..."

'Hey! Knock it off, will ya?'