Comedic Contrast Appreciator Gifts

'Uhh, maybe you should just play flute, Bob.'

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

Pessimists v Optimists.

"We have a favor to ask."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

The Formal Street Artist

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

PODs Venn Diagram

Closet.

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

'..the sound of no hands clapping...'

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

"Seriously, Ice-Skating? You want to try out Ice-Skating?!"

'On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how attached are you to the cat?'

"Is there anybody there?"

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

A truck full of radioactive waste with no particular place to go...

The Badlands! A dry and deserted landscape where deadly rattlesnakes and packs of sharp-toothes coyotes roam the night looking for prey. And also, Fifi.

Vandalism at the Graffiti Art Museum

Swiss Army General.

'I have a very neat desk but a very messy computer desktop.'

Radical Think Tank

Prisoner keeping a calendar on his laptop.

"I'm alright, it's my hair...I need more hairspray."

7 Dead Twits Pub & Alehouse - 'He's paying.'

Nethead strip: Problem of nature, no contrast control

California Mutant...(Field of California Poppies with 1 RED poppy.)

Look who's headed this way. It's Darlene. How do I look? Desperate and pathetic. She's engaged. She's not interested. You've got to move on. No way, she has to be here for a reason. This won't go well. One coffee to go. I do.

"I know I encourage employees to take initiative, Tom... but I think you should change that back!"

Spoiler Alert: Here Lies Justin SpanBauer. . . 'All the World's a Stage'.

Workers in Hazmat suits make sweets

Murder Village - Bursts of street fighting every half hour