Comedic Contrast Appreciator T-Shirts

'Uhh, maybe you should just play flute, Bob.'

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

Pessimists v Optimists.

"We have a favor to ask."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

The Formal Street Artist

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

PODs Venn Diagram

Closet.

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

'..the sound of no hands clapping...'

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

"Seriously, Ice-Skating? You want to try out Ice-Skating?!"

'On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how attached are you to the cat?'

"Is there anybody there?"

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

A truck full of radioactive waste with no particular place to go...

The Badlands! A dry and deserted landscape where deadly rattlesnakes and packs of sharp-toothes coyotes roam the night looking for prey. And also, Fifi.

Vandalism at the Graffiti Art Museum

Swiss Army General.

'I have a very neat desk but a very messy computer desktop.'

Radical Think Tank

Prisoner keeping a calendar on his laptop.

"I'm alright, it's my hair...I need more hairspray."

7 Dead Twits Pub & Alehouse - 'He's paying.'

Nethead strip: Problem of nature, no contrast control

California Mutant...(Field of California Poppies with 1 RED poppy.)

Look who's headed this way. It's Darlene. How do I look? Desperate and pathetic. She's engaged. She's not interested. You've got to move on. No way, she has to be here for a reason. This won't go well. One coffee to go. I do.

"I know I encourage employees to take initiative, Tom... but I think you should change that back!"

Spoiler Alert: Here Lies Justin SpanBauer. . . 'All the World's a Stage'.

Workers in Hazmat suits make sweets

Murder Village - Bursts of street fighting every half hour