Comedic Contrast Enthusiast T-Shirts

Going out of business.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Nice haircut."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Pessimists v Optimists.

"We have a favor to ask."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

The Formal Street Artist

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

Snowman dreaming of surfing.

"You heading south again this summer?"

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

"Is there anybody there?"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"Is your dog going to rip our heads off … I mean, friendly?"

After You Die/After Your Dog Dies

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

Blower wars.

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

Eskimo in Igloo

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

Big dog little man.

'This is what happens when you try to blow out that many candles.'