Comedic Collectors Gifts

Darth Vader advertises nasal strips.

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'Look at that! Our first big snowfall, Timmy!'

"First of all, I said 'We are going to plunder'."

Occu-Pie Mars

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

The Fourth Little Pig

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

Welcome Spring.

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

Bears catching fish

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel