Comedic Card Collector Gifts

Sorry to hear about your accident.

"It says in lieu of gifts, we should not show up."

Santa called but you were out!

"What's the name of the drug I've been taking to improve my memory?"

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Surf Casting

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Thank you bubbles

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'Look at that! Our first big snowfall, Timmy!'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

Red Card - Gold Card.

The African Plains during the 70's.

Card shark

Business people buying greeting cards.

To diet or not...?

"I'm looking for a card that says 'Your Love Is Priceless' for under $5."

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Never date a medical illustrator.

'Occassional cards'

Greeting Cards

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

"Wife and two hernias to support!"