Comedic Clash Of Hobbies Gifts

'This your first time smelt fishing?'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

Boyfriend of the Month.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Double Saxophone

"Read the book!""See the movie!"

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

"You lick, I'll dry."

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

I'm not sharing top billing with you on my radio hour. I created it. I am the vision, the reason people tune in, but I'm not a tyrant. I agree you should get your name in the show's title. The Sadie Cohen Radio Hour graciously allows a pervert to make occasional comments. Speak, pervert. Bite me, Tyrant.

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

asian.babe@mongol.com.

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

Eskimo in Igloo

'If you're bored do some writing.You could start by writing your will.'

Information. If you can't put toothpaste back in the tube, how did it get there in the first place?

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'

"And FYI, Iggy has night terrors."

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'