Comedic Cardinal Enthusiast Gifts

'I thought the Indiana state bird was 'Larry'.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

Cristoph Willibald Gluck 2nd July 1714

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'I miss the evildoers.'

'They come down here to smoke.'

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."

"The Lord has heard your prayers and has sent me to say unto you, shut up about it already."

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"JUST SIGN THE CARD!!"

"Two bars—how about you?"

"I've been hearing nothing but good things about you."