Cardinal Aficionado Gifts

Thomas Wolsey

Knight Golfing

Back to school.

'The Burrito King.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

"That's our new church mascot."

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The Suite Hereafter

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

"You run into a window, too?"

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

Teddy Roosevelt

"So what do you do for a living?"

Knights Wing Mirrors.

"They weren't kidding when they said a women's work is never done!"

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"Elizabeth Warren? Carly Fiorina? They'd never get elected president. They're not royalty like a Clinton, Bush or Kennedy."

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

'Uh, no...Generally I don't take requests.'

'I'm worried about this growth on my back!'

Unicorn Joust