Cardinal Aficionado Pillows

Thomas Wolsey

Knight Golfing

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

'The Burrito King.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"That's our new church mascot."

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The Suite Hereafter

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"You run into a window, too?"

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"So what do you do for a living?"

"They weren't kidding when they said a women's work is never done!"

Teddy Roosevelt

Knights Wing Mirrors.

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"Elizabeth Warren? Carly Fiorina? They'd never get elected president. They're not royalty like a Clinton, Bush or Kennedy."

'I'm worried about this growth on my back!'

Unicorn Joust

'Uh, no...Generally I don't take requests.'