Comedic Appreciators Gifts

I'm the gorilla's nuts... I'm the dog's bo****ks... He's never been good at hiding his light under a bushel.

"Don't you worry about the dangers of spreading germs?"

"Scruffy? I'm not scruffy! I'm natural!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

The Pink Bantha

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Shakespeare Quote

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Disease-y Top

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

The Clueless Diver

"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

North Pole.

Emile Zola takes a morning J'acuzzi.

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

Three tailors block the street, forcing a passerby into their shop.

"Cough"

"I know you're upset with me and I'm getting the silent treatment. Thank you."

'..the sound of no hands clapping...'

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

'Are you sure this is just a mirage we're crawling through?'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'Lightening hit the band shell while the orchestra was playing...'

"The Doge ate my homework."

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

'On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how attached are you to the cat?'

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'